You can imagine the horror stories I hear from my clients about the dating scene now days. It’s a bit of a nightmare. One question coming up often is keeping a friendship with an X. Some say it’s fine to be friends with your X. Totally mature. It’s what adults do. It’s innocent, no harm in… WE ARE JUST FRIENDS. Others say it’s wrong, unfair to your current relationship and people break up for a reason. I believe the situation is unique to each individual and there is no right or wrong answer because it is rarely Black and White. If you were married and children are involved it is wonderful to be friends with your X. Never the less I have compiled a list of signs your X no longer deserves your friendship.
This Blog post was created from a friend, asking, cough, cough and cough.
1.) They still TRY to manipulate you
While you are experiencing a single spell your X attempts to put the fear of God in you. Reminding you “TIME IS RUNNING OUT” for what exactly you are not sure since you believe you’ve lived ten lives compared to some but ok he or she but for the sake of this Blog we will keep with he-HE tells you the Clock.Is.Ticking like you are faced with dismantling a bomb or something other then comfortably living your life and enjoying your friends, family and feeding the crows. Your X paints a picture of desolation and doom. Fortunately you see this for what it is but give him a pass out of feeling they are less emotionally evolved then you are. But THEN, the clouds part and you are in a healthy relationship, one filled with love and joy and now your X changes his tune constantly interjecting negative mini bombs in simple conversation, “well if you two break up XYZ” or “you never REALLY know someone…” Your X tries to paint your current love negatively for farrrrr reaching reasons having never met him. Fortunately for you, you recognize this form of manipulation because it was sprinkled all over your past relationship. You gained wisdom since then, maturity and realize this type of behavior is just not acceptable nor do you have the energy or need to explain it or teach someone life lessons they should already know. Distance yourself. Now. You gain nothing from knowing this person anymore.
2.) They never complimented you while you were together but show all of their current girlfriends your photo and send them to your Instagram
Nothing spells douche bag like a guy trying to make himself look desirable with the current girl he is dating by shoving his X in her face. Who does that??? He rarely EVER complimented you while you were together and admitted when the relationship died he didn’t want to “GIVE YOU A BIG HEAD” Ok, how about just being a nice human being and making your partner feel special?
Why on earth would you try and make the girl you are dating insecure? I will tell you why. A guy showing the girl he is dating a photo of you, his X ,isn’t actually a guy at all, he is a creature from the planet douche bag and on this planet they all read this book called “The Game” by author Neil Strauss. Guys, if you have to brag about the girls you have dated because you believe it makes you appear desirable, you are basically a Fuck Face and deserve the girls who buy into that shit. We hope you enjoy your meaningless, superficial existence.
3.) They attempt to feed their Ego by hitting on you while you are in a relationship
I hate to break it to you guys, but most level headed, intelligent women know EXACTLY what you are doing when you ask us if you can…. ask us a question. “Do you love him more then you loved me?” If your X doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and says I would rather not answer to spare you the truth that you do not come even close in ANY arena to the person you REALLY love then DO NOT PERSIST. DO NOT KEEP ASKING. See, guys or in this case Aliens from the planet Douche Bag, have this thing called a God Complex and when a man has a God Complex they have formulated an alternate reality in their head brimming with the fallacy of convincing themselves that you actually think of them, often, when in reality you are living your hard earned blessed life with the person you love. They do not wish to put in the real work of a healthy relationship, you know, all of the loveliness your partner is bestowing on you now. They just need a quick fix of an Ego Boost. If you are a REAL friend you do not see if cracks exist in the relationship of your X to feed your Ego. You RESPECT the relationship of your X. You do not inject innuendo in your conversations to test the waters or tell yourself “even though she’s with someone she will always want me” No, see, that ‘s NOT what is happening. When someone is in love they actually do not see anything else, hence the term LOVE IS BLIND. You are the past, and no intelligent woman is coming back for seconds with you, let alone a girl with options and most of all love and respect at home. They are enjoying the present.