Someone told me I should write an article on how to look sexy in photos. I love this idea since I teach this to my Boudoir photography clients but I wanted to apply sexy to real life. Whether you are single, in a serious relationship or dating, hopefully something you read here will apply to you. First off, I am NOT an expert. If you want to send me to the “those that can’t, teach” corner that’s just fine. I’ll sit in the corner in my Louboutin's applying my lip-gloss slowly.
I will list five ways to be sexy and if you would like to hear more, comment, give me feedback and let me know and I will add more. I would also LOVE to hear your top ways to be sexy too!
Ok, and away we go….
1. Be a Unicorn
Yes, you read that right. Be.A.UNICORN. Discover what makes you unique and rare & graciously self promote the hell out of it without being obnoxious. OWN what makes you unique. For myself, I have always loved ethereal things and I have let this trickle into my entire way of life. When others wore flannels back in the day (yes I know this is back in style now) I wore baby pink and lace. My pastel wardrobe has always looked like the Easter bunny vomited all over my closet but that’s just ME. You wore black I wore vintage yellow. You collected nose rings I collected fairy statues. You wanted to watch The Notebook I wanted to watch Lord of the Rings. You got a tattoo on your lower back of a butterfly I wore a necklace over my head like the Childlike Empress in the Never Ending Story. You wanted to get drunk at a bar I wanted to look for lizards under rocks. Wear what makes you different on your sleeve like a badge of honor aka your social media and any other visible trails to who you are as a person. Being a Unicorn means you are not like every other girl trying to copy every other girl. You don’t follow trends you INVENTED the word trend because you are…THE MOST INTERESTING GIRL IN THE WORLD!!
2. Smile with your eyes
Smiling with your mouth is easy but try smiling with your eyes only. Smiling with your eyes takes digging in to your soul for some real warm emotion, enough to make you slightly squint until you get that little sparkle. It’s a real thing. I promise. I do it, I see it and it is possible to learn and teachable. Practice it in the mirror. Think of something that makes you so completely happy and imagine it warming your entire body in delightful comfort. This is what is actually physically feels like while you are doing it: your eyeballs are slightly pushing forward, (not in a creepy way) eyes are closing just a little, an upside down C curve on your bottom lids and then boom…sparkles in your iris, like opening presents on your favorite Holiday or opening the oven & smelling your perfectly soft milk chocolate chip cookies. If someone interested in you catches a glimpse of you smiling this way, they will never forget it. You will permanently be etched into their memory bank of the happy girl that smiled with pure uninhibited joy. Then your eyes are no longer a cliché’. They really are the windows to that beautiful soul. A smile goes a long, long way. I once had a guy tell me he dated a girl simply because her smile was similar to mine, that her face lit up but it didn’t work out because in the end she was a jerk and hello…I’m awesome. Moving on…
3. Tell an embarrassing story about yourself
Nothing gross, come on now use your head here, you don’t want to turn anyone off. But something like-“when I was 16 and already grounded my friends showed up outside of my window in a stolen golf cart and I climbed out of my window hopped on the cart and painted the town red going 10 miles per hour until we turned the corner face to face with a cop car and we all bolted. I climbed the gate to what I thought was my friend’s backyard and ran through a stranger’s house and hid in the closet with a Smurf blanket over my head. The police officer found me took the blanket off my head, which left my hair sticking straight up from static electricity, cuffed me and took me home and I offered him low fat milk in hopes he would let me go. It did not work. Milk is not a good bargaining chip. My parents grounded me, again. I am still grounded to this day and writing this from my childhood bedroom.
4. Be yourself, don’t be a clone
Clones aren’t even legal in the U.S. anyway. Have your own identity. Keep your own identity. Have your own interests and never try to adopt the interests of the object of your desire. That isn’t to say you cannot partake in their interests but a girl with her own passions, own style, own hobbies is an attractive self-assured desirable creature.
5. Let out your inner Nerdy Goofball
If you think your man won’t like you singing Usher’s love song "Climax" at the top of your lungs while driving to lunch, flailing hand gestures included, well you are soooo wrong. He will proudly look at all of the other drivers making fun of you, pointing, and say to himself, “ yep, that girl with the worst voice ever imitating an R&B singer is mine all mine”.